There are 168 hours in a week. If you work a typical 40-hour week, that means you are spending roughly 24% of your time in the office. When you take into consideration, however, that the average American work commute is almost an hour (roundtrip) and most people aim to get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night, you can end up spending over a third of your waking life working. 

Thus, it makes sense why some people start to see their colleagues as more than just fellow workers. Regardless of your specific workplace culture and team dynamics, the very fact that some people spend more time with their work team than their actual family, serves to blur the lines between these two facets of life. 

As a business owner/manager, there might not be much you can do when it comes to long commutes or the length of the work week, but there are steps you can take to better establish professional boundaries. 

Start first by never referring to your team as a family. Let’s take a closer look at why. 

An Examination of the Word ‘Family’ 

The word ‘family’ is an interesting term because it has both a broad, universal definition, and yet can be a very personal concept in actuality. For instance, the etymology of the word is described by historians as referring to “everyone under the domestic authority.” In other words, your family mainly consists of the people you live with—which for much of human history would include your blood relatives and a few select others (partners, spouses, close friends) who lived under the same roof as you for an extended period of time. 

More recently, we’ve seen the adoption of the term ‘chosen family’, which Dr. Bahiyyah Maroon describes as a family “made up of people who have intentionally chosen to embrace, nurture, love, and support each other regardless of blood or marriage.” Typically, these ties are made between individuals who find connection through shared experiences, even if they didn’t grow up in the same household.

As you might’ve noticed, colleagues and managers do not fit into either of these definitions of ‘family’. Workers usually don’t live under the same roof, they were not raised in a glaring similar environment, nor have they chosen each other based on personal connection. 

Not only does this demonstrate how the word family is simply an inaccurate description of employee relationships, but it’s also a loaded term for many. While managers might think their use of that word automatically begets positive associations and leads to better team cohesion, for some, the word might have negative connotations. Toxic family dynamics can have lasting negative effects, and therefore, drawing a connection between one’s homelife and team dynamics, even indirectly, could be detrimental. 

In fact, research shows that 1 in 5 job candidates consider it a red flag “if an interviewer uses the word ‘family’ to describe the company.” Instead of curating a more cohesive and collaborative workplace culture, this term could result in employers actually missing out on talented candidates. 

The Toxicity of Blurred Lines 

You might be thinking, but what about people who don’t have negative associations with the word ‘family’? What about the workers who genuinely feel a close kinship with their colleagues and love their ‘familial’ workplace culture? 

Well, first, we’ll say this—that’s great! It’s not a bad thing to have close employee relationships. Still, we suggest you stay away from the word. 

The problem with using this term, regardless if some people find it fitting, is that it blurs the lines of professional boundaries. It’s important to note that these lines are already being degraded, with one study finding that 52% of UK workers feel “the boundaries between their work and home life are becoming increasingly blurred.” 

What’s so bad about blurring those lines? For starters, it can very quickly lead to workplace toxicity and employee exploitation. 

It’s no secret that people allow their family members to treat them in ways they wouldn’t tolerate from non-family members. For example, if your father asks you to run an errand for him after you’ve already completed all your own errands, you likely wouldn’t balk. These are the sorts of favors that are common amongst family members and are based on an understanding of mutual respect and future reciprocity. 

In a work setting, however, requesting that an employee take on a new task or work later than usual, should unquestionably correspond with financial compensation (over time, a raise, etc.) Doing more work does not and should not be seen as a ‘favor’ to your boss. You do not owe your colleagues or managers anything more than what is outlined in your job duties.

 That said, by associating colleagues with family, it’s likely that many employees could be emotionally manipulated into seeing added work as an act of team cohesion, and therefore not demand adequate compensation. Considering workers already log an average of 9.2 hours of unpaid overtime every week, this is a problem that cannot be ignored. These instances of unpaid work, cloaked in calculated ideas of familial responsibility, will not result in better team dynamics, rather they will lead to resentment and burnout. 

Terms of Encouragement, Not Endearment 

Family is a term of endearment, and terms of endearment shouldn’t be used in the workplace. That said, you can use what we’re calling ‘teams of encouragement’ to develop a more personable workplace culture without promoting unhealthy employee relationships. 

Terms/nicknames that don’t transgress professional boundaries but still promote team cohesion, include words like squad, crew, club, etc. 

Furthermore, you can come up with team names that have a personal touch but don’t suggest anything familial in nature. Yes, this might sound a little cheesy, but no cheesier than calling the people you work with your family, right? 

If you find yourself working in this kind of toxic environment, however, we know it might not be easy to convince higher ups to ditch these terms. Especially if you suspect they are using them not for the sake of strengthening team dynamics, but for the purpose of exploiting their workers. 

In that scenario, you are likely better off searching for a new opportunity. At CyberCoders, our recruiters are not only determined to find your perfect job match, but we always put your workplace needs at the forefront of our efforts. Check out our website today and let us help you find you a position you love—though not more than you love being home with your real family, obviously.